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9:18 AM
I'm amazed how people get together, and even marry, as a result of chatting. To hit it closer to home, some of these people are my friends.
The essay below is inspired by my friends who have found their significant other via the internet.
Cyber romance can be just as true or false as the low-tech version
February 13, 2003
Inquirer News Service
I FIRST heard of a cyber-relationship when my friend Diane (not her real name) had one five years ago. She met her cyber-boyfriend, a 20-year-old Canadian named Jeremy, at one of the mIRC chatrooms she frequented. He was charming, interesting and so much older than most of the guys she knew (she was just 14 then). She swore it was true love.
For months she stayed up late, sometimes until dawn, chatting online and e-mailing him on a regular basis. She swooned over his movie-star looks (he sent a picture), captivated by his husky Canadian drawl (they swapped phone numbers and he called her once) and, all in all, flattered by the attention he showered her.
When I asked her if she wanted to join me on a trip to Vancouver, Canada to spend summer with my aunt, she practically skipped on her way to ask her parents' permission. Diane was ecstatic when they let her join the Canada trip.
But things soured for Diane in Canada. Whenever she called Jeremy, which was pretty often, he was never home. All of a sudden he stopped sending e-mail. He also disappeared from the chatrooms. Though we were na‹ve teenagers then, we got the message: Jeremy wasn't serious about Diane. My poor friend came home brokenhearted but wiser, at least about cyber-relationships.
In love with an idea
In a cyber relationship, a thin line separates being truly in love with another person and being in love with just the idea of him or her. Despite stories of couples falling in love before setting eyes on each other, I believe that technology should only be used as a tool for meeting people. Cyber relationships that rely solely on technology rarely work because they lack one thing: the human touch. No matter how many love quotes you send or how hot your conversations on the phone are, a cyber romance can never be without warm embraces or sweet kisses.
Still, cyber relationships flourish. What makes virtual friendships so enticing is that it is so easy to reveal your true self without fear of being judged or getting a biased hearing. Sadly, the opposite is also true. It's a dangerous world out there, and many people are not who they claim to be.
When one is being honest while the other is not, problems will surely arise especially when love is involved.
Jack, 19, met Paola in a chatroom. He got her cell phone number and they became constant textmates. Through the text messages and their chats, they professed their love for each other. Jack found it strange, though, that Paola would not talk to him on the phone. The relationship continued this way for months until Jack suggested a meeting. When Paola didn't show up, Jack was naturally hurt. But the reason for Paola's no-show proved to be even more mind-blowing: Paola was actually Paolo. Jack finally understood why "she" didn't want to talk to him. The lesson: Don't give your heart to someone who won't talk to you on the phone .
Another problem in cyber relationship is when a person starts imagining how his or her cyber friend will look. A cyber couple can happily exchange endless phone calls, text messages and e-mail for months. But one face-to-face meeting can instantly dispel the rosy haze, both feeling deceived because reality does not even come close to what the imagination has conjured. The solution: exchange pictures from the very start of a virtual relationship.
Happy endings
But not all cyber relationships end on a sour note. There have been wonderful stories about people finding love in cyberspace and living happily ever after.
Joy and Norman met in the chatrooms in 1998 and had a long courtship. It took months before they talked on the phone and several more weeks before they finally met in Joy's house in Quezon City.
Norman had two surprises for Joy on that first meeting. First, he told her he liked her and, second, he brought a huge snowman stuffed toy, which she was to find out cost P3,000. But it still was an uncomfortable meeting. They barely talked to each other. The next day, Joy was surprised when Norman paged her nonstop. His incessant paging, which went on for weeks, irritated Joy. When the paging eased, she began to miss him. Then it hit her: she liked the guy.
It took another year before Norman would ask Joy to be his girlfriend. They have been together for three years since and Joy always recalls that first encounter with a grin.
One time, she asked him teasingly, "What did you think of me when we first met?" Norman finally confessed what was on his mind that fateful day long ago. "The moment I saw you... I knew it was you."
It was probably just sheer luck that brought them together in the chatrooms but Joy and Norman probably believe the chance encounter was written in the stars.
Indeed, finding true love is possible online but don't go chatting just to look for it. Finding someone special in the chat rooms is not much different from meeting him or her anyplace else. After all, as the saying goes, you can find love in the most unexpected places-including cyberspace.
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9:10 AM
This essay is a result of a semester in my European Cinema class. I realized soon after how much I have missed before by dismissing all Euro films as artsy-fartsy.
Euro films' simplicity and subtlety lost on Filipinos
October 09, 2002
Inquirer News Service
AT THE FIRST meeting of my European Cinema class in Ateneo de Manila University, our teacher, Father Nick, asked us to name five European movie stars, who didn't make it big in Hollywood. The class of about 70 students couldn't even name three.
My class' lack of knowledge about European movie actors reflects just how foreign European cinema is to us Filipinos. Why is it not very well appreciated? Perhaps many find European cinema too tedious to watch with its slow-pacing, discreet background music and the use of subtitles. Plus, people have no patience for films with long periods of silence and a lot of dialogue.
What we want is action. We want million-dollar movies with plenty of gimmicks, garish stunts and a sex scene or two. We want flicks like "Titanic," "Lord of the Rings" and "The Godfather." We don't want subtlety; we want the plot served straight up.
European cinema and Hollywood movies are like apples and oranges. While American productions are escapist, the European ones are realistic. European movie stars rarely look like Brad Pitt and Catherine Zeta-Jones to titillate the viewers; continental actors look like regular people (unless the story calls for an attractive person) to keep audiences focused on the storyline rather than the cast.
There is nothing wrong with Hollywood movies but you have to experience European cinema at least once. Sit through an entire film and watch as its beauty unfolds. The European cinema's charm is in its sheer simplicity. Witness how the subtleness transforms the film into a powerful medium evoking realizations, feelings and emotions that Hollywood productions rarely achieve.
European movies also tend to linger in the audience's memory long after the film has ended.
Here are three films that capture some of the best qualities of European cinema.
'Cinema Paradiso' (1988)
This is a beautiful and heart-rending film about a unique friendship. Much of this Italian film, directed by Guiseppe Tornatore, is told through flashbacks. In the beginning, we see a middle-aged famous film director, Salvatore, receiving news that an old friend named Alfredo had died. Salvatore begins to reminisce about his childhood and his thoughts take him back to Giancaldo, a small village in Sicily, a few years before the coming of television.
The village had only one movie theater called Cinema Paradiso, where the villagers went for entertainment. We then meet the film's two protagonists: old Alfredo (Philippe Noiret), who operates the projection booth, and a fatherless young boy, Salvatore or Toto (Salvatore Cascio), who is drawn to the booth and makes it his home away from home. With their shared love for films, the two form a special bond.
The friendship is broken with the arrival of Elena, Toto's love interest in his late teens. Alfredo tells Toto to leave Giancaldo and forget Elena, because she has forgotten him. Toto follows Alfredo's advice. Years later he learns that Alfredo "betrayed" him by making him believe that Elena did not love him. But was it really a betrayal, or was it an act of love? The audience is left to decide.
'Au Revoir, Les Enfants' (1991)
There is something eerily haunting about stories on the Holocaust. The horrors the Jews went through reverberate in your mind long after you hear the stories. "Au Revoir, Les Enfants (Goodbye, Children)" is no exception.
This film takes us to World War II. The year is 1944 and the setting is a French Catholic boarding school where several Jews are hiding from the merciless Nazis. Among them is young Jean Bonnet. With a new name and identity, Bonnet pretends to be a new student. At the boarding school, he meets and befriends classmate Julien Quentin, who soon learns of Bonnet's secret. But Quentin does not really understand the significance of being a Jew in a country run by Nazis until the Nazis come to the school looking for Jews. His quick, unthinking glance in Bonnet's direction leads to his friend's discovery and, later on, demise. Young Quentin finally understands the shocking reality of racism and the cruelty of war.
"Au Revoir, Les Enfants" is a bitter tale, but one that must be told if only to remind us constantly in order to avoid a repeat of the tragedy.
'Amelie' (2002)
This French film, which was shown here recently, is a lighthearted drama/comedy starring Audrey Tautou in the title role. She portrays Amelie with a brilliant mix of coyness, vigor and mischief. The film opens by showing Amelie's sad and lonely childhood, no thanks to her bizarre and unaffectionate parents.
As a result, she grows up to be an eccentric, unable to relate to people and with no real purpose in life. One day she discovers a rusty old tin box hidden in her house. She decides to return the box to its original owner, starting in the process an adventure that would change her life and the lives of the people around her, although for the better.
What's fascinating is how Amelie helps these people in the most creative and extraordinary ways. For instance, she "kidnaps" her father's garden gnome and later sends him anonymous postcards with photographs of the gnome taken in the world's well-known tourist spots just to entice the old man to travel.
The diversity of characters surrounding Amelie adds spice to the movie: there's Dufayel, Amelie's neighbor, who paints a copy of the same Renoir painting year after year; Amelie's boss who is a former trapeze artist; and there's Nico Quincampoix, Amelie's love interest, who works at a porn shop and collects people's discarded snapshots in photo booths.
Judging from how long it was shown in movie theaters, "Amelie" seemed to have done quite well in introducing the Pinoy audience to the beauty of European cinema.
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9:05 AM
Something I wrote for class... I don't think my prof appreciated the humor in this one, which explains my less-than-satisfactory grade.
Today's REAL Horoscope
Aries: You are deep and personal in your thoughts, the quiet type. In fact, you don’t speak at all because you think you are too good to speak to others. You are conceited and obnoxious, but luckily nobody knows this because you don’t utter a word. People like you a lot and believe you are the perfect listener, one who does not past judgment on them. They are wrong though, and inwardly you giggle and make fun of them. Your lucky colors are aquamarine blue and fuchsia pink.
Taurus: Don’t bother starting your diet today because you are doomed to be an Ike Lozada/ Dabiana look-alike for ever. Remember to count ten before getting mad. But don’t get mad, get even. Your lucky numbers are 1, 2, 3…10.
Gemini: Stop watching Betty la Fea and get out of that couch NOW, you lazy worm. Today is the day you will finally meet Mr./Ms. Right. Unfortunately, he/she will make a run the minute he/she catches a whiff of you. Must be your deodorant—or lack of it. Your lucky color is blue, as in Secret deodorant blue.
Cancer: You have the IQ of a dinosaur and will never amount to anything. Your mother hates you and your father thinks you are a loser. Your only friend is a mongoloid psychopath, who is unfortunately locked up right now. Even blind people think you’re ugly. You don’t have a lucky number or color.
Leo: You are the forgiving type and you don't bear grudges. Sadly, nobody gives a damn. Nobody cares about you, or even talks to you. You are afraid that nobody will go to your funeral, and you are probably right. Your best friend is your Coleman, which, given the chance to talk, will tell you it loathes you. Your lucky number is 0 and .01
Virgo: You're an unscrupulous animal who would sell relative's limbs to buy a cell phone. Stop whining about not having a significant other, and start doing something about that halitosis. I don’t want to tell you this, but you don’t really see dead people. There, now you’re not special anymore. Your lucky numbers are 66666 and 99999.
Libra: Remember now, the early bird gets the worm. So don’t be an early worm. You are a nice person, so nice that everyone just walks all over you. You fall for every sob story that comes your way, and you’d give the shirt off your back just to make the world a better place. Wait, you just did! Now look where it got you— cold and butt naked! You are the bum in EDSA who walks in the nude peering inside people’s cars. Your lucky color is white.
Scorpio: Please don’t get mad, but everybody talks about you behind your back. You think you are so popular, so beautiful, so well-liked but all people think otherwise and all they really care about is your money. Without your money, you are nothing! Luckily, the gods are kind to you and you are bound to be rich for life, so you will never know how unpopular you really are. Your lucky color is green.
Sagittarius: You can’t read, so why bother telling about you.
Capricorn: You are the eternal optimist, seeing the best of any situation. You have no grasp of reality and live in a dream world. According to the alignment of Pluto, your lucky planet, today is the best day to come out of the closet—that is if people still don’t know about you, you flaming homosexual. Don’t forget to smile: smile and the world smiles with you. Cry and you cry alone. Your lucky color is jolina pink.
Aquarius: You are the cream of the crop, the best of the very best and people from kingdom come are just dying to be associated with you. The paparazzi follow your every step because you are oh-so famous and beautiful people flock at your doorsteps hoping you’ll grant them a date this time. Unfortunately, you are autistic and really locked up at the Mental Hospital. Too bad. Your lucky number is 1, a number as lonely as you are.
Pisces: You get on well with people because you are bisexual. Don’t bother getting out of bed today because this is just not your day. If a black cat crosses your path, strangle it. Your lucky numbers are 18 and 6667.22.
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